Metamorphosis on Vimeo

photo credit: farm4 static on Flickr

Minutes later, my phone buzzed and I turned it on to discover a text message from one of my best friends saying that the cancer was back.  A close friend, who had fought breast cancer before and kept it at bay for more than 2 years, had just learned that it found its way in to her liver and bones.

Doubt. It immediately seeped in and I wish I could make it go away. That I could squash it and the sickness that has weakened this amazing young woman, mother and friend.

Sadness. My heart is very heavy and underneath it all, I feel a pang of anger.  Moms should be off limits until they have lived through all the boo-boos, and crushes to the wedding planning and grandchildren. Kids need their Moms. They do. And this time, this mother just doesn’t know if she has it in her to fight or if it is a fight she can even win.

All I can do is pray that this will all be okay in a way that I just can’t see right now and be grateful for the day before me, my sweet family, my loving friends and the frosty green grass beneath my feet.

Love this A-Line Gown by Amsale

Destination Fave made of Ivory Silk Charmeuse by Terry Keely

Lacey Strapless Monique Lhuiller gown

Off the shoulder ballgown by Vineyard Collection

Alvina Valenta’s Ivory Silk A-line Crumb Catcher

Short & Sweet for the Modern Bride, Reverie by Melissa Sweet

Carolina Herrara ruched, embroidered on the shoulder dress is romantic

After almost a year of trying to figure out what to get my bridesmaids, I finally decided on 9 different silver necklaces, which I found at Blue Ruby made by local designers, 9 different books that I thought each may enjoy and 9 USB keys with a playlist of songs that reminded me of each of them saved on each drive.  It wasn’t easy.  It took time but in the end, I was happy with the gifts.

1. Wednesday night. Having drinks and dinner with Karla and my Mom on the rooftop deck at Saltaire (go for the view, not the food). It was a beautiful August evening with two of my favorite people.
2. Breakfast with Jamie, Mindy, Sis and Karla in Horseshoe Bay en route to Vancouver Island.
3. Pulling in the driveway at D’s parent’s place, Thursday afternoon only to turn around and be airlifted and bear hugged by D’s best friend from RI, Dan Reagan.
4. Thursday night in Mill Bay – playing bocce ball with Frannie, Mike, Tall Dan and Big Dan and winning. I was on Frannie’s team.
5. Mike & Michelle and Christina and Mark arriving at the house on Thursday.  It had been a while since I had seen them.
6. Sitting in the kitchen on Thursday night with Christina and Mark while David tried to convince me to walk down the aisle to MC Hammer’s classic “Can’t Touch This” and Here Comes the Bride.  He said if I did, he would rent a plane and write “I told her to do that…” in the sky.
7. D explaining the rules of the Car Rally and teaming everyone up in random groups of 3 and 4.  None of our friends and family truly knew what a car rally was or what they were in for that day.  D and his Dad organized the entire thing together and it was so much fun.  Julie M. said “Happy Wedding Day, Dan!”  He was so happy. This was his day.
8. Seeing Karla & Kevin arrive at the BBQ/rehearsal dinner in a RV (no small feat and a whopping 50 extra bonus points), hearing all the tales from the day and seeing some pretty funny photos and videos – priceless.
9. Playing a very eh-hemm, heated game of Thumper after the BBQ, where J shocked us all.   The group started off small and people kept joining in until everyone who was left in the house was playing the game.
10. Saying good-bye to D in the kitchen the night before our wedding after he told me how he was going to kiss me at the altar.  Wow!
11. Standing on the balcony with Dan Reagan, catching up and reminiscing before crashing into bed at 3am.  So much for going to bed early the night before our wedding.
12. Breakfast at John’s Place in Victoria, BC with all of my bridesmaids and my Mom. It was such a special morning for me, surrounded by my closest girlfriends.
13. Taking over the Fix Hair Garage while we got our hair done for the wedding.
14. Driving back over the Malahat right into a big dark rain cloud and hearing Robin say as her windshield wipers were swishing furiously back-and-forth – “Don’t worry. It’s not raining…”
15. Getting dressed with Jack, not my bridesmaids, in my mother-in-law’s closet.



16. Watching Emma & Journs walk down the aisle sprinkling petals on the grass.  I told them I wouldn’t have been able to find my way to the altar without them.  They were so beautiful and happy.



17. Walking down the aisle in the rain while my Mom and Jack both stepped on my dress.  It was real life and it distracted me.



18. Saying my vows and listening to D’s promises to me.  I was so happy, I couldn’t stop smiling.
19. The rain stopped after the ceremony and 3 rainbows appeared.  Dhoris said “That’s god’s blessing.  I did feel so blessed.
20. The toasts on the back deck.
21. Group hug with Mindy, Holly & Mirvy on the back deck.
22. Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy – If you were there, you know what I am talking about. Our DJ, Tony was AWESOME!  The best dj I have ever seen at a wedding. If you can book him, don’t hesistate.
23. Dancing and crying to the “The Luckiest...” and dancing with my Mom to Nat King Cole.
24. The late night meatball sandwiches in the kitchen. Big thank you to Sis for making all 70 of them and Jon for tending to them so lovingly.
25. Going to sleep as Mrs.Robinson and waking up to Mr. Robinson’s eggers and Boris’s hi-def bacon.

1. Hire a wedding planner. I have planned and catered many events but on your wedding, you don’t have time to take things into your own hands.  I would hire a planner to help with a few things and to mainly manage the flow on the day of the wedding.  If there is no person in charge, you will get bombarded with questions.  A planner can intercept all the people on their way to you, making it easier for you to enjoy your day.  Hiring a planner can also save you time and money in other areas because an experienced planner will have relationships with local vendors and should know how you can save some money.
2. Have a back-up plan in place. We had an outdoor wedding and  it rained during our ceremony.  We pushed the wedding out by 30minutes to 1hr but had to make the call in the final 30 to move the chairs off the grass and inside the tent.  To ease your stress on the day, create two alternate lay-outs – one for rain, one for sun.
3. Not cater the rehearsal dinner myself. Perhaps the most stressful part of the entire wedding for me was preparing the BBQ Rehearsal dinner.   I planned the menu, had to run to Costco, buy all the groceries, and do all the prep.  And at 3:00pm, 2 1/2 hours before the dinner was set to start – I discovered that the salmon and meat that I had bought were FROZEN.  Someone had accidentally put all the meat and fish in the freezer. Ack! I had to thaw it all out and get it ready to grill.  It was really the last thing I should have been doing.  My friends pitched in too – making salads, sangria and grilling up some food. And it all worked out just fine but I should have had it catered.

And this was the final result:

Bridal hair tips:

1. Find pictures of hairstyles you love online or in wedding magazines.  Try to find styles with hair that is similar to yours in texture and weight.
2. To find the best hairstyles for your face, look for models with similar face shapes as yours.
3. If you are getting married out of town, ask stylish locals and boutiques for their recommendations on salons and stylists.
4. Schedule a hair trial before your wedding day and bring your veil and/or hair accessories with you.  I booked in two trials with different stylists at different salons.  These trials helped me figure out what worked best for me and what kind of stylist I needed.
5. A good hair stylist is confident, listens to your suggestions and is experienced.  When I met with my stylist the first time, she just played around with my hair.  By the end of our meeting, I had no idea how my hair was going to look on my wedding day but I had complete faith in her.
6. When you book your appointment, give yourself enough time to make changes if need be.  Do not be afraid to tell your stylist you don’t like something.  If you have time, you can change it.  I have had too many friends, who were unhappy with their wedding day hair, but they didn’t have any time to change it.
7. Contrary to what most of you have heard – clean, dry hair will hold your style and curl better than dirty, greasy hair.  Dirtier hair tends to be heavier and oily, making it more challenging to work with.  For best results, wash your hair the day or the night before the big day.

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